Longmont resident Ruben Cardoza pled guilty to felony menacing and third degree assault after repeatedly striking his brother-in-law in the head with a ceramic angel figurine. Cardoza was originally arrested on two assault charges, attempted second-degree murder, criminal mischief, third degree assault and two charges of child abuse because two children in the house reportedly witnessed the statue-tory assault. The Devil must have made him do it!
This sad incident proves only too clearly that, where pottery training is concerned, little children are more at risk from religious symbols than ceramic penises. For reasons of public safety it is clear that El Dildo! must act immediately to rid churches and public buildings of dangerous religious psycho-ceramics!
And Ruben, say order three items from the Pottery Barn, and look in the mirror. You're a Dilly!
