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That's because they're a bunch of oxymorons.

Corrupt politicians rouse voter apathy

–The Colorado Daily, 7/12/06


Damn!

Judge can't seat jury in Lake for Lunsford case

–Orlando Sentinel website, 7/13/06


Rejoice, ye Gentiles, with His people.

Even before he found God he was a gentile, well-liked guy whose most off-color anecdote in "Pickin' Up the Pieces" involves almost, but not quite, doing acid with country-rock pioneer Gram Parsons.

–The Colorado Daily, 6/11/06


Bet that's not your real name!

Dan Daron, of Rollinsville, works for a Castle Rock-based company contracted by the city of Boulder to fix a portion of its 11-mile pipeline from Barker Reservoir, said Jim Creek, water source manager for the city.

–The Camera, 5/27/06


Could you rephrase that, please?™

The crater is a bowel about 150 kilometers in diameter that scientists selected as a landing site because the terrain suggested it once held a lake.

–Voice of America (VoA.com) 1/9/05


Contortions

"Because academia is collegial, you try to bend over backward not to go forward, and the higher-profile the case, the harder you work not to pursue it," he said. "If they're going forward, that suggests that they felt pretty strongly."

–The Camera, 8/24/05

-=- -=- -=-

Garner, who is pregnant, arrived in the afternoon with her body double.

––The Camera, 7/28/05


I'll bet you think this song is about you!

He started the People's Clinic because he saw hippies "shooting heroin and missing their vains."

–Thrill magazine, Jan. 05


Ow! Ow!

Towns grapple with fires

–Camera headline, 1/3/06


It exasperates us.

Discussing suicide plans with a child can exasperate that child's fear of abandonment, Trierweiler said.

–The Camera, 5/26/05


Well, bless her pointy little head!

One of Elizabeth Hoffman's unforgivable errors, apparently, was defending academic freedom, invoking the McCarthy era. Some lawmakers saw red. They called for her head. It didn't matter that she had a point.

–Clint Talbott, the Camera, 3/9/05


Drink to me only with thine eyes.

Stoner-Boos

–Wedding announcement, the Camera, 4/24/05


Neat trick!

Soldier who died in Colo. Springs was in Iraq

–Camera headline, 11/14/05


Hurricane season

Alexis Cooley, a New Orleans native who works at the Lazy Dog, put the benefit show together. She moved to Boulder a year ago and said she has been blown away by how generous people are being with their money, time and desire to help.

–The Camera, 9/5/05


Now, now!

But the hunting is typically done safely, Pelle said. He said goose and foul hunters use shot guns that fire pellets, which are safer than high-power rifles.

–The Camera, 2/9/06


Sloooow news day in Boulderia

Facts of nightlife
More women are drinking more alcohol, studies say

Eco-Cycle now takes Styrofoam

—The two Daily Camera above-the-fold headlines for November 14, 2005


This is a job for Rush and Bill O'Reilley!

Rocky Flats helped stop the swamping of New Orleans, thanks to a Kaiser-Hill Co. executive who recognized a good use for massive dirt bags when he saw one.

–The Camera, 9/13/05


Well, give them time!

"Our opinion, after talking with the enforcement staff, was that they take their jobs seriously and may need in fact clearer direction regarding their attitude toward their jobs."

–The Camera, 11/7/05


You're too modest!

"It's safe to say we're just the tip of the iceberg," said Boulder County sheriff's Lt. Phil West.

–The Camera, 6/24/05

-=- -=- -=-

"We've kind of done too good of a job," said Phil West, sheriff's spokesman. "They were looking to put the money elsewhere where it's needed worse."

–The Camera, 5/7/05


The Duct Tape Revolution

Norway's Red-Green alliance set to oust government

–Reuters, 9/12/05


Haven't they done enough, already?

Nonprofit works to get vets back to battlefields

–Camera headline, 4/29/06


You can say that again ... but don't.™

"This has been a siphon for us, but we've still kept a lot of water in the boot," Wieting said.

–Associated Press, 8/16/05


Promises, promises!

Next pope will be different

–Camera headline, 4/2/05


Our galaxy

LOCAL NEWS

Life may be possible on Saturn moon

–the Camera, 4/15/05


You wouldn't think they were if you had to live next to one!

Human Slums Swell

--headline, Camera, 6/17/06


Crime 'n' Punishment

'Guilty as charged' Mans blame for global warming prooved

–Earthtimes.org, 2/18/05

-=- -=- -=-

Guilty plea from man arrested for assault on plane

–Camera headline, 2/18/06


The write stuff

He set out this time to right a funny book — mission accomplished. But that's not the only reason the book feels light.

–the Camera, 9/25/05

-=- -=- -=-

"The best and safest thing is to keep a balance in your life, acknowledge the great powers around us and in us. If you can do that, and live that way, you are really a wise man."

Euripides

Greek playwrite
(484 BC - 406 BC)

–Full page banner at the top of the Camera's inaugural "Balance" section for "Faith, Learning, and Growth," 2/25/06


Dress code

Five men with American ties held by U.S. military

–headline, cnn.com


Math murder

Suthers said Davidson's method, dividing the number of days in a term by two to calculate one-half of a term, could be used unfairly.

–Associated Press story, the Camera 10/19/05


Don't be so *%#!! literal!

McDonald was burning compact discs on his computer when he saw flames coming from the balcony and immediately called out to his girlfriend.

–the Camera, 3/13/05


You Don't Say!®

Fall promises colorful transition to winter

–Camera headline, 9/13/05


I guess we can assume that.

Fake psychic serving 10 days

–Camera headline, 3/17/05


You mean every option but one ...

Every option, he said, "is on the table. We can't stick our heads in the sand."

–The Camera, 1/25/05


Thanks For Clearing That Up!™

Error to blame in wrong alert

–Camera headline, 11/12/05


Seek, and ye shall ... oh, hell with it!

–recent search result on the Colorado Daily website. Bronson Hilliard is managing editor and frequent contributing writer for the Doily. It couldn't find "Paul Danish" either.


Awwww!

Although Wild Oats shoppers usually pick out the highest quality of organic egg when buying for consumption, Ivory said the cheep eggs go the fastest around Easter.

–the Camera, 3/21/05


We're hoping at least the building will pull through.

I am going to die. So are my children, family and beloved friends, all animals, plants, this building, our nation.

–Charley Cropley, in Boulder Weekly, 2/3/05


It figures.

The friends Loo was with that night also are clueless, he said.

–Camera story, 11/30/05


If you can't spell it, just leave it alone!

CU profs get OK to exhume cadavar

–headline, Rocky Mountain News, 4/1/06


They do!

CDC: Mumps cases swell

–Camera headline, 4/15/06


Uh, oh.

Bush: Voters support shift to democracy

–Newsday.com, 1/31/05


Is this another anti-discrimination thing ?

Brown eyes whistle-blower policy

–headline in the Camera, 9/19/05


Oh, you mean "co-only" !

The United States is, with Australia, the only industrialized nation not to ratify the 1997 Kyoto Protocol to limit greenhouse gases.

–the Camera, 5/9/06


Have you been drinking?

"It is drastic, but it's very serious charges that are allegedly out there for us," he said. "Obviously none of that has come to fruition, but we want to make sure if it does take two weeks, or however long it takes, to figure out what actually happened on Friday night, that that's not occurring in the meantime -- if it did in fact occur."

–Brad Long, external vice president of the Interfraternity Council, Colorado Daily, 9/27/05


Why do you ask?

Caller: "We need someone to come to the Delta Gamma house. We have a person who is way over drunk."

Dispatch: "What is wrong with her?"

Caller: "She is intoxified."

Dispatch: "Intoxified? ... Have you been drinking?"

–911 call, reprinted in the Camera, 9/29/05


I'll bet it was by a grisly bear!

As if being mauled to death is not punishment enough, Saunders gives Treadwell a good posthumous bashing by stating "stupidity kills" in reference to his tragic and grizzly death.

–letter in the Camera, 9/4/05


You can leave your hat on.

Man accused of beating woman with pipe on head

–headline in the Camera, 7/27/05


Duck hunter

I thought it was generally conceded by neo-conservatives, conservatives, lefties and liberals that that canard will no longer hunt.

–letter in the Camera, 6/16/06


He'll never inherit the Earth at this rate!

A 27-year-old Lafayette man is accused of hitting his neighbor on the head with a baseball bat. Police arrested Timothy Meek on suspicion of first-degree assault Sunday.

–In the Camera, 5/17/05


Always right

Now...let's repeat this basic fact of American history.  The Revolutionary War began in 1776 and lasted until 1983.

- Talk show host Neal Boortz, as quoted by Chuck Muth


Look back in anger.

The Dublin novelist, whose emotional rage is limited and whose prose exhibits all the chilly perfection of a waxwork model, must today count himself as the luckiest writer on the planet. This was a travesty of a result from a travesty of a judging process.

—The Independent , online, 10/11/ 05


Is this about Ward Churchill again?

Flaming cow pie prompts probe

–The Daily Times-Call, 3/18/05


The fruits of their labor

Grocery strike draws fed attention

—in the Daily, 11/22/04


Now, there's a switcheroo ...

Woman accused of assaulting CU player

—in the Camera, 11/17/04


Blame it on their balls of finest crystal.

In a race to get stories in the paper or on the air this week, too many mediums offered either incomplete information or misrepresented facts.

—Neil Woelk, in the Camera, 11/20/04


Well, we can always hope.

Voter Turnout May Decide Election

—CBS TV NY website, 11/1/04


Oh, don't bother, they're OK like they are.

Dick Tharp said he'll spend the next week "dotting all the I's and crossing all the T's" in the athletic department he headed for nine years.

—in the Camera, 11/24/04


Oh, how thweet!

Storm covers hills in snowy blanket

—headline in the Camera,11/27/04


Those've gotta be elf inches.

As of Wednesday, more than 1,200 inches of snow had fallen in January on about 36,000 acres of skiable terrain in Colorado, thanks to a storm cycle that snarled roads and isolated the 500 residents of the ski resort town of Silverton.

—in the Camera, 01/13/05


Good boy!

Smart judge orders evaluations

—headline in the Camera,12/4/04


Say that real fast three times!

Spitzer's iron wrist shits to music industry

—www.chinaview.cn news website, 10/24/04


May you be governed by a superior power.

"Open space is a special place for me," Havas said Thursday, after finishing up a hike on Dry Creek trail. "The opportunity for me to be a protectorate of what I feel is Boulder County's premiere resource is a privilege."

—in the Camera, 12/3/04


It's never hurt mine.

Schwarzenegger: Bush Has Hurt My Sex Life

—Associated Press headline, ABC News website, 10/19/04


So I asked myself ...

CU history professor Patricia Limerick and Charles Wilkinson, distinguished university professor of law, sat onstage and put questions to Limerick, as did the audience.

—in the Camera, 11/24/04


That's twice this week!

Mediocrity once again envelops CU

—headline in the Camera,10/17/04


Looking on the bright side

Mass graves force change

—Associated Press,12/191/04


Why Johnny can't metaphor

After 12 years as perhaps the most controversial CU regent in modern memory, Jim Martin says he evolved in office even as the board circled the wagons.

—subheadline in the Daily,12/7/04


Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

Lafayette police station still up in air

—headline in the Camera,11/41/04


OOK!

COORECTION (12/17/2004): This story incorrectly stated the ownership of the land surrounding the National Institute of Technology and Standards and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration in south Boulder. The federal government owns the land, but the city of Boulder was granted an easement in 1993 that gives the city some control over the property.

—on the Camera website


A triple-header

Holy Family in title game

—headline in the Camera,11/21/04


Let's hope so!

CDOT spends about $1,000 per sign [commemorating a highway fatality] , Erez said, which includes manufacture, installation and removal. She said her department plans to spend less than $10,000 a year.

—in the Camera,12/18/04


Everyone needs a friend.

"One of my high points is (also that) I was given a 'Friend of the First Amendment' in 2003," [CU Regent Jim Martin] said. "I'm the only regent ever to have gotten that."

—in the Daily, 12/7/04


Giving birth to live young is so erotic.

Perhaps the question you would most like to know the answer to is whether people are actually procreating in public. Something that looked pretty close to the real deal was happening in The Garden of Enlightenment, but it was hard to be sure. If your curiosity still isn't quenched, you can always make your own investigations next year.

—The Exotica Erotica Ball, as described in the Camera, 10/30/04


They promise never to do it again.

The actions of the players involved wildly exceeded the professionalism and self-control that should fairly be expected from NBA players.

—NBA commissioner David Stern, quoted on On China View website 1/ 21/ 04


Anything but that!

Through it all, he still bristles at the press, his fans' hounding presence and, in particular, being labeled the conscious of a generation.

—said of Bob Dylan, in the Camera, 10/24/04


Red Green strikes again.

Duct-taped man reported in canyon

—headline in the Camera, 1/6/05


Oh, you'll manage.

"A lot of these new rules actually hamper our ability to create havoc," he said.

—Senate President Pro Tem Peter Groff, D-Denver, in the Camera, 1/12/05


I toot, therefore I am.

"The train has left the station in cognitive technology," said David Braddock, associate vice president for the CU system and executive director of the Coleman Institute, on Tuesday. "And the University of Colorado is the front locomotive."

—in the Camera, 10/6/04


Who, if not CU?

Immediately before coming to CU, Gomez was working for a public-relations firm he co-founded in southern California specializing in helping clients overcome crises. Its slogan: "When you don't have time to think."

—in the Camera, 10/18/05


Through a glass, dorkly!

"It asks the county to crystal-ball its budget," Pelle said.

—in the Camera,10/29/04


I'm sure that was it.

NEDERLAND — A faint moon rose Friday over the quaking aspens at Caribou Ranch, as if to signal the transition.

It was as if nature knew that — after eight years of negotiations, planning and restoration — the Boulder County Open Space Department was on the brink of opening the pristine 2,180-acre open space property to taxpayers.

—in the Camera,10/9/04


Stickin' it to 'em

Saunders aims to buck that national trend with the opening last month of the new Community Acupuncture Clinic, a Boulder facility that offers group acupuncture at a sharply reduced price.

—in the Camera,10/4/04


Digital fingers! What a concept!

Europe May Start Digital Fingerprinting

—Associated Press headline, ABC News website, 10/18/04


Homeland insecurity

Airport evacuated after water balloon found

—headline in the Camera, 1/18/05


Dept. of Climatological Correctness

State kicks off season of color

—headline in the Camera, 9/10/04


Bummer!

One member was heard saying on his cell phone early in the afternoon: "Dude, one of the pledges died."

—in the Camera, 9/18/04


Dept. of Political Corrections

A member of another fraternity who declined to give his name said he thought the teen had been "chiefed," meaning fraternity brothers might have drawn on his face when he appeared passed-out.

—in the Camera, 9/18/04

The ritual, known as being "written on," is practiced on those who pass out with their shoes on, and Bailey and pledge Greg Oakford were targeted.

—in the Camera, 9/25/04


That's, like, really a lot, right?

But what will happen to the site and surrounding land should generate infinitely even greater interest than whether or not council approves the contract.

—in the Daily, 9/20/04


Wow! Her own autobiography, too!

Outside of this early frustration, the entrepreneur, poet, internationally recognized media figure, mother of three and — most recently — author of her own autobiography, has always tried to follow her dreams.

—in the Camera, 9/7/04


We can't wait!

Down the hall and behind each door hides a different treat: Diagnostic acupuncture, lymph draining, hot stone massage.

—in the Camera, 10/2/04


Football?

He is passed out on a coach.

—from "Fraternity Timeline," in the Camera, 9/23/04


Block that metaphor!

"It's a litmus test for what people project onto it."

—Americans for Job Security President Mike Dubke, quoted by Associated Press, in the Camera, 9/9/04


God knows, they've tried everything else!

Army to try elderly man

—headline in the Camera, 9/3/04


Bet that's not your real name!

Samantha Spady, 19, a sophomore business major from Beatrice, Neb., had a blood-alcohol level of 0.436, Larimer County deputy coroner Dean Beers said.

—Associated Press, in the Camera, 9/18/04


Cry Me A River.

In view of the fact that he spent his recent sabbatical studying and disseminating theological material, he might want to review those passages of scripture regarding stealing, bearing false witness and removing the moat from your own eye before shooting off his mouth again.

—letter in Boulder Weekly, 9/23/04


Don't Overdramatize!

ANOTHER DELAY





EXPECTED IN
MAJOR GIFT TO
CU

—headline in the Colorado Daily. 10/5/04


OK, OK!

If Democrats want to elect Anybody But Bush, then Republicans, Undecideds and at least 15 percent of Democrats may tilt toward whomever these protesters don't want. If Democrats want to elect Anybody But Bush, then Republicans, Undecideds and at least 15 percent of Democrats may tilt toward whoever these protesters don't want.

—sydicated syndicated Kathleen Parker in the Camera. 9/1/04


Thanks For Clearing That Up™

Analysts: Can war be won?

Definition of victory is key to the answer, some experts say

—headlines in the Camera. 9/2/04


Yes, just one glass and I start thinking that human reason can be used to combat ignorance, superstition, and tyranny and to build a better world.

He named it L'Absinthe after the hallucinatory liquor — famously used by Enlightenment-era artists and since banned in most countries — to suggest the creative, energetic mood associated with the drink.

—in the Camera. 8/15/04


I hope I sound alert at that age!

Greenspan Sounds Alert on Social Security

—Forbes.com (Associated Press)


Your navel?

I have found something that interests me much more than this petty drama of whether Charley Cropley smokes or not and what that means about him.

—Charley Cropley in Boulder Weekly, 7/1/04


Dept. of Try-Not-To-Act-Too-Surprised™

Stench rising from Las Vegas' sewers

—in the Daily. 6/17/04


Thanks For Clearing That Up™

"The Scripture is very firm about not being able to trust someone who is involved in different areas of lifestyle. I feel that's part of who the governor is," said delegate Flora Rohrs, a housewife from Centennial.

—in the Camera. 8/6/04 (Associated Press)


My secret love's no secret any more!

I have fallen in love with this new voice that I recognize to be none other than my own.

—the many-splendored Charley Cropley in Boulder Weekly, 8/5-11/04


She nose what she wants.

"The dating scene would be much easier if we could all go around sniffing each other and be as friendly as dogs are," she said.

—in the Camera. 8/14/04


Damn!

"Dick's dark side was done with extreme discretion," said Dean Jellison, a retired lawyer and local Republican activist who has known Dasen for nearly 35 years.

—in the Camera. 8/15/04 (The Washington Post)


If we get a stockyards, I'm moving.

"Boulder's growing. Hopefully it's not going to get like Denver," he said. "It's a little spooky."

—in the Camera. 8/12/04

"(Boulder) used to be a nice little salty place with a university attached," concludes Warner, who says that he and his wife, Jayne, hope to move to Oregon after the sale. "But now it's an upwardly mobile place, and I feel quite marginalized. Laundromat owners don't get a lot of respect in the business world in Boulder.

—in the Camera. 8/11/04


I don't think the confusion is over just yet.

The confusion is finally over, at least for now.

Jennifer Mellow, a Denver legislative policy director, announced Saturday that she will be the new regent at-large candidate for the Democratic Party.

—in the Colorado Daily. 8/23/04

Jennifer Mello, a legislative policy director, announced her candidacy Saturday for University of Colorado Board of Regents seat, a race that has had the Democratic party in a shuffle.

—in the Camera. 8/22/04


Another 2nd Amendment Crank!

Rand Fanshier says he has shot at seat held by Tom Plant

—in the Camera. 7/28/04


The darn little things just slip off!

Maybe managing prairie-dog population through birth control is an option; has this been considered?

—Lesley Kinder and JoElyn Newcomb, guest opinion in the Camera. 8/8/04


That's damned innocent!

His father, Bob Maxcey, said his son is "innocent as hell" ...

—in the Camera. 8/24/04


They makes way too much!

Does CU Brass
make enough?

—headline in the Daily. 7/20/04


Way, way way too much!

"If he reports to me, he reports to me only from like a dotted line, but it's more from a coordinating standpoint," Meadows said. "I don't know that he necessarily works for me. I don't think he works for me. Because he can't."

—John Meadows, senior associate athletic director for CU in the Camera. 8/1/04


Awww, do we hafta?

At some point we have to say, 'the process has integrity."

—Councilperson Mark Ruzzin in the Camera.7/7/04


Neat Trick!

A lot of these kids come to college now never having had a father or mother.

—Regent Jim Martin in the Camera. 7/25/04


Block that metaphor!

The tiny violins in Colorado have their collective panties in a bunch over our small shortfall.

—Coloful conservative Caldera in the Camera. 7/11/04


We told you this would happen!

Lush replaces Sunglass Hut

—headline in the Camera. 7/13/04


Order in the court!

"This is really an issue that has been burbling for a long time," Knaizer told the judge.

—in the Camera. 8/17/04


Yeah, we're sick of 'em, too.

Bryant prosecutors lose appeal

—headline in the Camera. 8/17/04


Not only is he a boy, he's terrible!

"I'd like to officially not acknowledge the word scandal," Barnett said after being asked a question in which the word was used.

—in the Camera. 7/23/04


Could you rephrase that, please?™

After dispatching an outmanned Chinese team with ease Sunday, the United States women's basketball team focused on the real problem.

—wire story in the Camera. 8/23/04


Defame ain't what it used to be.

A Boulder police officer found graffiti on three stop signs Thursday afternoon that appeared to defame the Bush administration."Bush" was written on the signs underneath the word "STOP."

—in the Camera.8/18/04


Groovy!

Super-cool technology on lecture agenda

—headline in the Camera. 8/9/04


Somehow, that makes sense.

Police arrested Raul Arellano-Arellano Saturday morning after they say he threatened his neighbor with two knives.

—in the Camera. 7/21/04


A discouraging word

For a decade, most CMF performances have received standing ovations. The ranked reasons are 1) Boulderites overestimate everything that happens in Boulder; 2) the seats at Chautauqua are not the greatest; 3) the music is usually pretty good.

—letter to the Camera. 7/8/04


You didn't mention our plan to use right-wing football boosters for the Mars Colonization Program.

... left-wingers who hate football, who hate all sports and don't give a damn if the whole thing went away in the morning so they can get back to their knitting.

—"Jake Smith, a 1981 CU alum who now lives in Miami and follows Buff football from afar," describes CU's critics in Westword, 8/26/04.


...and underaged cancer patients can smoke medical marijuana as long as they don't inhale

Underage youths enrolled in culinary schools now have permission to sip wine, as long as they spit it out.

—a new law passed by the Statehouse Gang, described in the Camera. 6/27/04


Ah!

           Lawmaker seeks answers

—headline in the Camera. 6/27/04


There'll always be a Boulder.

Kama Devi exhales smoke during a pipe ceremony in April for a rite of passage in celebration of her son's 18th birthday. Following the pipe ceremony, the two jumped out of a plane together.

—photo caption in the Camera. 5/29/04


Terms of Endearment

"Would I be in favor of 'golden handcuffs' for President Hoffman? You bet I would," said Pete Steinhauer, chairman of the regents, an elected board that oversees the university.

—in the Camera. 6/25/04

"... I've actually heard it used as a term of endearment," Hoffman said.

—the famous c-word comment, in the Camera. 6/15/04


Zombie jamboree!

     Dead fans move in for concerts

—headline in the Camera. 6/16/04


Another c-word

She said that the committee is still in the initial phases of goal setting and is still gathering information before defining what "community" and "sustainability" will mean.

—in the Daily. 6/17/04


They really should shape up.

CU Regent Jim Martin said he wasn't aware of the terms of Barnett's reinstatement but that there should be "quantifiable measures" in place "so in the future you can look back and be able to tell whether progress has been made." He said the agreements sound "amorphous at best."

—in the Camera. 6/17/04


Oh yeah, around Mt Sanitas, you mean

And then you can get back to more important business like making sure no one is ever offended by the site of dog poop again (oh, the humanity!)

—letter to the editor in the Camera. 6/5/04


How candid!

"The issue was always a balance between the life safety issues and the neighborhood laudability," said Corson. "

—in the Daily. 6/8/04


How soon they leave the nest!    

     Madonna's new kids
     book out June 21

—headline in the Camera. 6/10/04


Galloping Mediocrity

Giddy-up.

— "Regent Gail Schwartz on the 'best analogy' she could come up with for CU's moving ahead," in the Camera. 5/20/04


You have the right to remain silent.

     FBI questioned beheaded American

—headline in the Camera. 5/13/04


Well, we can't have that, can we?

UHNA members stated at the hearing that the Hill is a "war zone on weekends" and a new liquor store on a heavily trafficked corner would only "mitigate the extreme beer and party culture" of students on the Hill.

—in the Daily. 5/20/04


Reuters says, that's who!

    China Contains Latest SARS Outbreak, Says WHO

—Reuters website, 5/18/04


Why not just move the library?

  Senate vote moves Erie closer to its own library

—headline in the Camera. 4/17/04


Save the bones for Henry Jones ...

"This is a chronic condition and requires long-term treatment, so it's really important to have the data," said Dr. Henry Bone, the study's lead author at St. John Medical Center in Detroit.

—Wire story in the Camera 3/18/04 about a study of an osteoporosis drug.


Makes sense

Mukherjee and a few others make up Wollerman's current clientele, but he hopes that through word of mouth and fliers his business will expand.

—story in the Camera 4/8/04 about a man who writes "prose and poems for people who can't eloquently convey their feelings."


Has Gloria Steinem heard about this?

     Glass ceiling gets overhaul

—headline in theCamera. 3/14/04


Yes, but her hare's to dye for!

She's can’t even find support for her hair-brained Federal Marriage Amendment (the one prohibiting same-sex marriages) in her died-in-the-wool conservative home state of Colorado.

—Boulder Weekly, 4/29--5/5/04


Nurse, cancel my appointment.

  Earlier eye examinations key to catching diseases

—headline in the Camera. 2/24/04


Block that metaphor!

"We're confident we have been doing it the right way, but we've added several pieces to the puzzle to tighten it even more," Barta said.

—Associated Press, in the Camera. 2/27/04


Say, didn't he run for council?

Geiser of flame forces evacuations

—headline in the Camera. 2/14/04


Awww, let him say grace!

Talking free-range turkey

—headline in the Camera. 11/18/03


It was the donuts

"It's very hard to articulate a cop's gut, but when their eyes met and he (Rapolo) averted them, he knew there was something wrong," Timoney said.

—Associated Press, in theCamera. 9/21/03


Neat trick!

Ritzenhein was inside "comatose, staggering around," said his coach, Mark Wetter.

—in the Camera. 11/25/03


It's not so bad, honestly!

The Walt Disney Co. is producing "Courage Colorado," featuring a North Carolina family sampling Colorado's food, culture, recreation and scenery.

—Associated Press, in the Camera. 9/9/03


More top-down economics

Pearl St. buildings up in the air

—headline in the Camera. 1/21/04


How un-original!

Other states want to try snipers

—headline in the Camera. 11/25/03


Watch it, buster!

Medicare bill's scope wider than seniors

—headline in the Camera. 11/27/03


Walk softly and carry a 40,000 ton slab of granite.

Start their own agency, Kindred Keziah Inc., at the footstep of the Flatirons.

—in the Camera. 9/9/03


Just get it outside before it grows up!

"... that was not my intent to get involved in it in any way, but it's the 300-pound elephant in the room - what do you do with it?" Keenan said.

—in the Daily. 2/13-15/04


I came in 1,499,999th

The Koman Denver Race for the Cure is expected to draw 1.5 million people on Oct. 12.

Boulder Weekly.


From bad to verse

The fraternity was already on two years' probation following an incident Sept. 24 when sheriff's deputies found a group of men in a field, some of them blindfolded and others reading poetry to them.

—wire story in the Camera. 11/22/03


What would Jesus sue?

Christians are just sick and tired of turning the other cheek while our courts strip us of all our rights.

—letter, in the Camera. 9/16/03

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